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Breakfast is served!

Published July 1, 2018 by Varkha

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Always Wrong Song

Published June 1, 2018 by Varkha

 

One day all the kids were presenting their abilities.

Po was feeling sad that she couldn’t do what all the other kids could.

So she sang this song:

I don’t know how to do… anything
All the other kids know… everything
I wish that I could just do… something
I try my best but I’m still… struggling
I feel like I just don’t belong
It feels like I am always wrong…

All the kids were amazed!

They told her she did have a talent.

Girl power

Published April 7, 2018 by Varkha

My Jazz! My Jazz! MY JAZZ!

Its been a month since you are back home with me after your six months break from Mummy and its been an absolute joy to have you back. I can see in the ways you shower me with love that you missed me SO MUCH while we were apart.

I missed you SO MUCH too, my life was definitely boring without you in it. Everyday is a brand new day with you. You have so much energy, you are a funny character and you are such a free spirited child.

I missed cuddling with you and reading bedtime stories.

I missed your goofiness, your laughter, your bubbly personality.

I missed dressing you up, doing your hair and wearing matching clothes๐Ÿ˜›

I missed your unconditional love for me but most of all I missed our times together, our bonding times.

In the past six months, you have learnt so much. Sometimes when you start talking about things you did, watched or happened while you were travelling with Daddy I feel disconnected to you and in some ways I feel like I let you down in not being there with you but I am glad that we had this time apart, it definitely was a time to rethink about what I really want for myself as a person, as a mother and as a wife!

I am amazed by how much you have grown in the last six months. My sweetheart, you are so special, talented and unique. Be yourself and always do what you love… When you are older your happiness in life will depend on it.

I love you so much my darling and you continue to be my shining star. I know we’ve had difficult times but I hope you know that I care about your feelings and I hope you know how much I love you. I’m so happy to have you back and I look forward to our exciting journey ahead ๐Ÿ˜

You are my Supergirl and I am so proud of you. There is never a dull day with you in my life.

My Princess Jasmine,

You are bright!

Your smile and laughter are infectious!

You are perceptive!

You are capable of so much!

You are persistent; in a good way!

Stay true to yourself!

I love you my munchy,

Mummyย 

My Adventure Book

Published July 18, 2017 by Varkha

 

 

Welcome to My Adventure Book

I love looking at it because it reminds me of my friends I met in all the places we went to. We left Joburg early one morning and hit the road and after a whole long day of sitting in the car, we finally arrived in Hogsback. We had a cosy little cottage high up in the mountains, next to middle earth, and our neighbours were this old man who was the caretaker of our cottage, his name was Hogsback and his grandchildren were staying with him, Liyema, Asavela and Yonga, and their best friend Zimi, became my best friends for the month that we lived there. We played together all the time, ate together, watched movies and Dora in my tent, went on long hikes to the waterfalls and long drives up the mountains, and just before we left we had a farewell birthday party.

I hope you enjoy watching.

Jasmine

Circle of life

Published May 24, 2017 by Varkha

A few days before Rohan’s third birthday on the 12th of May 2017, Jazzy came to me and asked me a question. I cannot remember what the question was but the answer led to – “When I grow up, I am never going to have a baby!!” 

Stunned I asked her: “Why don’t you want to have a baby when you grow up?”

Jazzy: “Because it is painful to have a baby!” 

Me: “Yes, it is but the moment you hold your baby in your arms you forget all the pains and you are just happy to finally hold your baby” 

Jazz: “How did you feel when you held Roro and me for the first time?” 

Me: “I was in pain BUT I was also very excited to hold both of you in my arms for the first time and I instantly fell in love with both of you” 

Jazz: “Mum, why did Ro not have a good heart?” 

Me: “I  explained to Jazz about how he grew in my tummy and while His heart was forming, a piece didn’t form and grow as it should have” 

From there, I went ahead and explained to her how everything else was fine with him except his heart and I reminded her of the happy times we had with him. 

I also explained how we found out about his condition and the whole process after that; from the moment I stayed with him at Jhb Gen until our medical aid got sorted out, to moving him to Sunninghill hospital, to the day Rohan had his open heart surgery until the day He passed away!!

She listened to me quietly and when I was done; she asked me “but you did not tell me, what EXACTLY HAPPENED before Ro passed away?” 

The question took me by surprise because I always hide behind the veil of ignorance and leave that part out of my story and there I was, put on the spot by my little one! Brave as I had to be, I told her exactly what happened; which is Rohan’s heart wasn’t healing as it should have and that night he over bled and the doctors couldn’t save Him! ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ’”

I didn’t shed a tear while I was telling her the story of her brother’s life. I had to be strong!

But then she asked me: “Were you guys there? Did you see Him?”

I answered her first question honestly that we were there and at that time; all I was doing was praying, begging God to make our boykie live, I was shaking with fear for His life. I so wanted Him to make it through the last stretch because I somehow knew if He would have made it that night, He would have been OKAY today! But He did not make it and I was VERY SAD, DEVASTATED and cried A LOT because He went to heaven.

Her second question reminded me of a PRECIOUS memory which I had forgotten. I don’t know why and how it happened but Jazzy’s question just brought it back: “I always used to hold Roro on my chest and sing His song to Him and after the nurse cleaned Him up that night; she called us to hold Him. I looked at Him and He was GORGEOUS! Absolutely BEAUTIFUL! He was not swollen anymore, he was not attached to any machine, he looked peaceful, calm, and I knew His soul was still there in the room; supporting and guiding me/us! I was wearing my puma hoody, I took it off and held him on my chest for a last skin to skin and I cried, I sang His song to Him and rubbed my cheeks on His soft baby hair as I did since He was born!”

As I write this, I have tears streaming down but I am SO HAPPY that Jazzy’s question reminded me of my last memory of Him โค

I don’t know how to explain it but He was very peaceful, rosy, shiny and He had an sparkly/glimmery aura…not something you could see but feel ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒธ

I, now, have that feeling with me! ๐Ÿ˜. So proud of you my princess for always somehow making me feel better! ๐Ÿ’œ